My attempt at Love and Logic Parenting

A little background: My (oldest) son and I have always clashed. I think this is probably because he is the oldest and so am I. We are forever power-struggling, yelling and arguing over who is right. I constantly lecture about responsibility and ask him WHY he’s not finished yet, etc… I was at my wits end when a Love and Logic parenting class fell into my lap. I decided to give it a shot.

I sent my 10 year old son to bed while Kirt and I were still in the online parenting class. After the class was over, I peeked in to check on him and he was playing his gameboy with the lights off. (How is that possible?)

I knew this was my moment to test what I had just learned. So I gave it a shot. I calmly went in, stood by his bed and held my hand out (a motion for him to hand over the gameboy). Here is how the conversation went…

HIM: “Noooooo! I haven’t saved it yet!”

ME: “Oh. That’s too bad.” (My hand still out.)

HIM: “Mom! Just let me save it first!”

ME: “Okay. 3-2-1.” (I take the gameboy.)

HIM: “NONONO! (screaming now) I need to save that!!!”

ME: “Probably.”

HIM: “You’re NEVER gonna give that back to me and I bought it with my own money!”

ME: “I’ll give it back when you can obey the bedtime rules.”

He sulked, pulled the covers over his head and I walked out of the room. A minute later I went in to find a book off of his book shelf to read aloud to my class in my online classroom tomorrow. He was still sulking and the conversation continued:

HIM: “Now I have to start that game ALL over you know. And I was ALMOST through!”

ME: “Bummer. Do you know where the book Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle is? (not looking at him, just searching the shelf)

HIM: “Yes, but I’m not telling you until you give me my gameboy back.

ME: “That’s ok. I can find it.”

I kept looking for a minute then I left and decided to go get ready for bed while he went to sleep and go back and look for the book later. When I came out of my bathroom after getting all ready for bed, the book I was looking for was laying on my desk. (And NO, it wasn’t there before!) My husband was in the room and said my son had walked in, set it on the desk and walked out. WOW! The simple fact that there was no yelling and screaming about that issue gave me SUCH peace…and he found the book for me to BOOT!

I have to admit I have always unfairly thought that “Love and Logic” was a secret code word for “passive parenting”. Boy was I WRONG! It just goes to show that you should NEVER judge something without knowing anything about it. I am SOOO looking forward to next week’s class!