First off, I'll have you know that this post has been a LONG time in the making. In my head, on paper, on the radio, and finally on my blog. So many of you have asked to hear my story, so I'm putting it out there. Looking back, I can hardly believe this is me. Almost 2 years ago, I was in the most miserable place I have ever been as far as my health goes. I had every pain imaginable. I woke up every day with absolutely no energy. I had endless joint and muscle pain. I had DAILY headaches, most of the time on a migraine scale. I had many days where I couldn't get out of bed. I had started losing my voice. I struggled with severe incontinence. I went on, day in and day out, thinking I must just be an exhausted mom. Who isn't exhausted while working 50 hours a week and raising 6 kids? In December of 2014, I hit rock bottom. I couldn't function. I remember thinking one day, "This must be what it feels like to be 90 years old!" I couldn't hold my head up most days, which resulted in me working from my bed and a LOT of things either going undone, or falling on Kirt's shoulders. I started praying to my Heavenly Father to help me find answers. I was scared. I had to be able to be a mom and at that point in life, I was a really CRUMMY one.
In January 2015, I went to see my Ear, Nose and Throat specialist. It was REALLY bothering me that I had lost my voice and couldn't sing. I was singing in a community choir and ended up having to sit out of our Christmas concert (where I was supposed to sing a solo) because or hoarseness. I was also the primary chorister in my church, where I was assigned to teach the children songs about Christ. I couldn't! The ENT did an extensive test and everything came back normal. My thyroid was in the normal range, no nodules on my vocal chords, everything looked perfect. And yet, it wasn't. SO, I scheduled an appointment with my primary care doctor. They did blood work. Most everything checked out normal, but there were some levels elevated indicating an auto immune disease. The search began to find out which one.
In February, I traveled to Las Vegas to see a rheumatologist, Dr. Kelly. I'm SO lucky to have a mom that is a nurse and has connections! They got me in FAST. Most people have to wait a few months to get in to see the doctor I went to. I was hopeful that this was IT! We were going to get this figured out and find some kind of medication to help me. As I met with Dr. Kelly (nicest guy EVER) he said things just didn't add up. Initially they were thinking it was Rheumatoid Arthritis, though I lacked many symptoms. When he mentioned Lupus, I almost passed out, but he didn't think that was it either. There was something going on, but he didn't have any answers. When we left his office I cried. Discouragement set in. I was the heaviest I had every been in my lifetime. 240 lbs.
After a couple of weeks, I decided there was something I would try. A friend had been telling me that she had many of the same symptoms before she cut gluten out of her diet. I decided it was worth a shot. ANYTHING to feel better. And it helped. A little. I still had more bad days than good.
In April, my doctor suggested we try a steroid to calm things down in my body. I agreed and filled the prescription. The next day when I went to start the treatment, I was prompted not to. Weird, but I felt uneasy about it. WHAT? Why? He is my DOCTOR! I have to trust him! And yet, I didn't. My mom called that day and suggested that we have allergy testing done. Now there was a thought! I had been prone to be allergic to different things throughout my life. Why hadn't I thought of that? I scheduled an appointment for the first part of May 2015.
Just as my mom had suspected, the allergy testing came back with SO MANY allergies! Food was making me sick. In the office where I was tested I had allergic reactions to gluten, dairy, soy, almonds, peanuts, walnuts, sesame seeds, melons, peas, all legumes, chicken, and turkey. WHO IS ALLERGIC TO CHICKEN AND TURKEY? That's right, this girl.
And so, I cut ALL of those foods out of my diet. ALL OF THEM. And it was hard. And things started to improve. By September I was feeling SO much better and had lost about 30 lbs in 6 months. I still had some pain in my knees and fingers, and some random muscle pain here and there, but I was able to function. So I was on the right track. Until December.
Right before Christmas 2015, I hit a wall again. Back in bed. Back to muscle and joint pain. Back to feeling 90. "WHY?!?" I cried. "I'm doing what I need to be doing to get better! I'm eating healthier, and exercising a little bit, WHY is this pain back?" Over Christmas break I heard a commercial for a place called Red River Health and Wellness here in St. George. Some lady gave a testimonial about how she had all the same symptoms I had and how much it had changed her life to go to this place. Kirt and I were in the car together and he said, "You need to make an appointment there." I was in denial. I didn't NEED help. I knew what was wrong with me. I'd been fixing it. So, I spent the most miserable Christmas break ever...IN BED. Because of my pride. Because of my unwillingness to listen to my husband. Because I didn't want to try ONE. MORE. THING. I was sick and tired of trying to figure out the answers!
One night while I was saying my prayers, I KNEW I needed to give this Red River Health and Wellness a shot. Why was I being so prideful about it? As I asked myself this question, I decided it was because I couldn't take ONE MORE TIME of thinking we had it figured out...but then not really. The Spirit whispered to me that this was my answer. The picture below is the day my son Noah was ordained to the office of a deacon (priesthood holder) in our church. I didn't go to church that day. I couldn't get out of bed. But I willed myself to be there after church for Noah's ordination.
Can you see the absolute joy in my cute Noah's face and the absolute lack of joy in mine? The light was gone from my eyes. The only other time I have been this discouraged in my lifetime was after a 2nd trimester pregnancy loss. It was definitely a low point. After I looked at these pictures that day, I KNEW I had to do something. I couldn't go through the rest of my life like this! I called and made an appointment for the following week. Just a consultation. I could do that. And I did. I went to the FREE consultation, where Dr. Swindlehurst, a chiropractic physician, told me what treatment would entail at their office and I went home to pray and ponder about whether it was the right decision for me. But I already knew the answer. I had finally found the right place for treatment. The Sunday after my first appointment at Red River Health and Wellness, I was asked to meet with our bishop after church. I was sure, since Kirt had been the scoutmaster in the ward for 6 years, that he was getting a new calling. After all, since I had gone off of all those foods I was allergic to, I had my voice back! And I was SO happy serving as the primary chorister. Alas, you can probably imagine my shock when the bishop asked me to be the Young Women's President in our ward. Wait, WHAT? ME? Nononononono...I'm sick. I'm tired. I have 6 kids. I work full time. No way. THERE'S NO WAY I can have stewardship over 30 young women! Then I stopped. As the bishopric told me that they had tried to have this calling go to someone else, but that it was not meant to be, I knew it WAS meant for me to be the YW President. And I also knew that Heavenly Father had led me to the right place for treatment because He NEEDED me to get better to serve these girls. He had called me to this work. There was no question about it.
And so, I started this new journey to health. Basically, what I found out, was that my body was full of inflammation. It was trapped and was causing my body to reject foods. (Thus the diagnosis to food allergies!) The inflammation in my body was up over 12 and it's supposed to be below 3. No wonder I felt miserable! I was also battling high cortisol, high triglycerides, low blood sugar and a myriad of other things that I can't even remember. As we put treatment into place, there were things I had to cut out of my diet YET AGAIN. Not only did I have to be off of all the foods I was "allergic" to, I had to cut out sugar and caffeine, the only two things keeping me ALIVE (or so I thought). Basically, my diet was stripped to fish (which I HATED, but have since learned to like), quinoa, buckwheat, and fresh fruits and vegetables. I started on many supplements to knock the inflammation out of my body, and as I showed signs of improvement I slowly added foods (one at a time) back into my diet to see if my body could handle them. (This is me showing off that after 18 years, my wedding ring actually fits again!)
Two weeks into treatment, I ran downstairs to get something. Then I ran back upstairs. Then I STOPPED DEAD IN MY TRACKS. I thought, "I just ran up and down the stairs and it didn't hurt my knees!" So I did it again. I remember my kids looking at me like I was crazy, but I couldn't even remember the last time I waddled down the stairs with no pain, let alone, ran!! My joint and muscle pain was gone, my headaches were I'm happy to report that I have added several things back into my diet. I'm still working on some that my body isn't tolerating. Gluten, dairy and soy are OUT for the rest of my life. GONZO. (And if you read labels, that's pretty much all pre-packaged food.) I'm pretty much eating a whole foods diet. Fish, chicken, turkey, eggs and LOTS of fruits and vegetables. No sugar, and I had to give up my beloved Diet Coke. Another change I had to make was drinking half my body weight in ounces of water each and every day. This is HUGE for me. I've noticed when I don't get it in, I'm sore the next day. It's so crucial! Before this journey I was living on Diet Coke and NEVER drinking water. Now, water is ALL I drink.
I've lost a total of 80 lbs, in a year and a half, 35 of those lbs after I started treatment at Red River. Would I do it again? ABSOLUTELY. In a heartbeat. Am I perfect? No. I slip up. It's called reality. It's hard, but it's not as hard as the way I was living on a daily basis 2 years ago. That's what keeps me going. I guess it's about choosing your hard. I can choose to eat what I want and feel the way I was feeling, or I can make better choices and feel completely AMAZING, so I'm ready to serve and be the woman God designed me to be!
A few things I've learned for those who want to make a change in their life:
1. DRINK YOUR WATER! I had to get creative because I'm NOT a water fan, but stay away from crystal light and other things with splenda and aspartame. Fruit infused water is yummy! Just cut up strawberries, oranges, lemons, etc and throw them into your water and "Voila!"
2. Just say NO to pre-packaged and fast food. So many foods are created with added addictive properties and I was unaware of this. You ever feel like you just HAVE to have those McDonald's french fries? Yeah, because they add all kinds of junk to them to MAKE them taste good so that you become addicted! Opt for salads with protein and without dressing. Squeeze a lemon on top of your salad and add a little sea salt. It takes a little getting used to but is SO much better for you.
3. Be kind to yourself. You'll mess up. You'll make mistakes. Guess what? Everyone does! We have to be willing to forgive ourselves and try again. Don't get caught in the "I can't change because it's too hard" business. You CAN change. Everyone can. It's a choice. Don't wait until you feel like I did. Change your habits today and I promise you will NEVER regret it. It will bring joy. I promise!
