Grandma's Story

(*DISCLAIMER to my family-This is my side of a story that I'm sure has many sides. Please don't be offeneded if you heard something different, as I know there could be many perspectives into this event.*)

Part One

I never want to forget yesterday. Ever. It had such a profound impact on the meaning of my life. It was one of the best days I've ever experienced and one of the worst. It's a day I never want to experience again, though I most likely will.

Rewind. My Grandma Smith has had Alzheimer's for about 4 1/2 years now. The last year and a half she has gone downhill very quickly. There have been days where my grandpa calls me crying that he can't take it anymore. My dad has spent countless hours over at their house just to keep Grandpa sane. I have taken dinner to them once a week for the past year and made many visits, some with my kids, some without to act as a diversion. It's tough to deal with someone who's memory is failing. Really tough.

A couple months ago Grandpa finally decided it was going to drive them both to the grave if he didn't put her in a care center. He just needed a break. Understandable. He needed to be able to go and be with her, but then leave and have some peace of mind that she was taken care of without having to battle about whether he was REALLY her husband or not and other things like that.

Right after all the paperwork was complete to have her admitted to the care center, but before it had actually taken place, Grandma broke her arm. She was trying to open the sliding glass door at home and when she used a fair amount of force, her arm just snapped. Weird, right? Until you hear how this plays out.

Grandpa took her to the hospital, where she stayed for a few days. Then, the doctor recommended she be moved to Kolob Rehabilitation and Care Center. This was such a blessing. Can you imagine trying to take your companion of 60 years, dump him/her at the door of a care center and saying, "I'll come visit when I can!" That's what my grandpa was struggling with. Heavenly Father blessed him by opening the door for a smooth transition into the care center.

Grandma soon accepted her new room as "home". Grandpa brought in some pictures and hung them on the wall and made it quite homey. She was in some pain because of her arm, but the staff did a good job keeping her comfortable and on the road to recovery.

Aunt Jody came to stay and help Grandpa. Soon they noticed that she was declining. Physically, there was nothing wrong with her, except her broken arm. Last week, on Tuesday or Wednesday, she talked about the "light" and called out to her "Mom and Daddy", who are both deceased. There was some questioning as to if she was going to give up her fight, but physically she was still doing well. My mom, younger sisters and I had planned to go to Women's Conference at BYU for the weekend, so even though we were a little concerned there was a chance she might pass away, we went. We knew she'd want us to. :)

That brings us to this week. Work and kids' schedules were crazy Monday so I didn't get over to see Grandma until Tuesday. She was sleeping and continued to sleep all day. Grandpa and Jody said they were convinced it was her time to go. Her oxygen levels were down, her blood pressure was low, and she had a temperature, but she was still breathing on her own. A few people called while I was there and sweet Grandpa blubbered every time someone called and he had to talk to them. (I think I get my blubbering from him. :) Grandpa decided all his kids needed to know that if they wanted to see Grandma, they needed to come now. I left and went home to feed the troops, but couldn't get it off my mind, so I went back later that night. My mom and dad were there and I took my younger sister Callie with me. Grandpa had sent Jody home to bed. We visited with Grandpa for awhile, laughed as my dad provided some comedic relief (wheeling himself around in the wheelchair and teasing poor Grandma, "You can't catch me now! Come on, just try!") and then my parents decided to leave. Grandpa was waiting for my uncle and his family to get there so I decided to wait with him. I didn't want him to be alone. This was one of the BEST decisions I have ever made.

As we talked, he told (I mean blubbered to..)me that Heavenly Father had shown mercy on him and blessed him by taking Grandma this way. He told me of the agony it caused him to think of taking her to a care center. He cried and prayed for many nights over it. He said he had slept very little because of it. He told me he was at peace and that Heavenly Father needed her on the other side now. We shared deep, meaningful conversation about the plan of salvation and other gospel topics. We looked through scrapbooks and laughed and cried together as we shared memories. It was truly a treasure. Some people don't get that kind of an experience EVER. In their whole life! Man, I felt blessed.

I left after Uncle Kirk and family arrived. I didn't sleep much that night, knowing that the time for Grandma to leave us was very close. A few days at most.

Dallin, my 13 year old, was very close to my Grandma and Grandpa Smith. They used to come pick him up a few times a week after I had Jaxon, so I could sleep and recover from childbirth. They did the same after I had Noah. They would take him to their house and put puzzles together, play games, go for walks. Dallin had been begging to go and visit Grandma in the care center, but she looked bad. Really bad. Not like herself. (Not wearing her wig, etc.) That's not how I wanted him to remember her, so I kept telling him no. Wednesday morning,(May 4th) after he had already left for school, I decided that if he wanted to see her, I shouldn't deny him that closure. I called his school and asked them to have him call me. When he did I asked if he was still sure he wanted to go and see Grandma. He said yes. I think I asked three times. He said he was positive. I told him I would pick him up after school and take him to see her.

When I picked him up that afternoon, I felt it only fair to warn him about her appearance. (I had already sat the kids down and told them that she wasn't going to last much longer...)He said he would me fine. We arrived at the care center to find Uncle Kirk, Aunt Annalisa, Aunt Jody and Grandpa already in the room. We took a seat by Grandma's bedside, and I could tell that her breathing was slower. Deeper. I said a prayer in my heart that I was not ruining my child by letting him see his dying great grandmother. I felt reassured that I was doing the right thing. Dallin teared up and looked at me. He asked if she was in pain and I told him she wasn't. The phones were ringing like crazy. Kirk's phone, Grandpa's phone, Jody's phone. Off the hook! Grandkids were calling in to tell Grandma they loved her. It was quite a sight to behold. Kirk was lovingly holding the phone up to her ear each time someone wanted to tell her they loved her. One of the last calls was from Uncle Gary. He was unable to make the trip down to see her because of a medical condition, but he called and read his Mother's Day card to her. It included a poem and she made a few responsive noises while he was reading. I'm SURE she could hear him.

(*DISCLAIMER to my family-This is my side of a story that I'm sure has many sides. Please don't be offeneded if you heard something different, as I know there could be many perspectives into this event.*)

I never want to forget yesterday. Ever. It had such a profound impact on the meaning of my life. It was one of the best days I've ever experienced and one of the worst. It's a day I never want to experience again, though I most likely will.

Rewind. My Grandma Smith has had Alzheimer's for about 4 1/2 years now. The last year and a half she has gone downhill very quickly. There have been days where my grandpa calls me crying that he can't take it anymore. My dad has spent countless hours over at their house just to keep Grandpa sane. I have taken dinner to them once a week for the past year and made many visits, some with my kids, some without to act as a diversion. It's tough to deal with someone who's memory is failing. Really tough.

A couple months ago Grandpa finally decided it was going to drive them both to the grave if he didn't put her in a care center. He just needed a break. Understandable. He needed to be able to go and be with her, but then leave and have some peace of mind that she was taken care of without having to battle about whether he was REALLY her husband or not and other things like that.

Right after all the paperwork was complete to have her admitted to the care center, but before it had actually taken place, Grandma broke her arm. She was trying to open the sliding glass door at home and when she used a fair amount of force, her arm just snapped. Weird, right? Until you hear how this plays out.

Grandpa took her to the hospital, where she stayed for a few days. Then, the doctor recommended she be moved to Kolob Rehabilitation and Care Center. This was such a blessing. Can you imagine trying to take your companion of 60 years, dump him/her at the door of a care center and saying, "I'll come visit when I can!" That's what my grandpa was struggling with.

Grandma soon accepted her new room as "home". Grandpa brought in some pictures and hung them on the wall and made it quite homey. She was in some pain because of her arm, but the staff did a good job keeping her comfortable and on the road to recovery.

Aunt Jody came to stay and help Grandpa. Soon they noticed that she was declining. Physically, there was nothing wrong with her, except her broken arm. Last week, on Tuesday or Wednesday, she talked about the "light" and called out to her "Mom and Daddy", who are both deceased. There was some questioning as to if she was going to give up her fight, but physically she was still doing well. My mom, younger sisters and I had planned to go to Women's Conference at BYU for the weekend, so even though we were a little concerned there was a chance she might pass away, we went. We knew she'd want us to. :)

Stay tuned for Part Two tomorrow...